Journal Update, April 2004

When I said, in my last update (last November) that it might be some time before I was able to update again, I had no idea that it would take as long as it has.

My last update told you that after a two-week delay, I would be going back for two more treatments, which would finish up just a day or two before we left Alaska. However, the treatments that I had already had were affecting my health so badly that the doctor decided to end them, and I did not have to have those final treatments. I don't know how I would have been able to make the trip if I'd had to have them, it was very difficult for me as it was.

It has been more than four months now since I ended those treatments, and I am still having some side effects from them, and from the radiation treatments I had last summer.

It took us ten days to travel the more than 2500 miles to central Oregon, and then we had to stay in a motel for almost a week, before we could get into the house we were buying. Then, it was so dirty that it took a massive amount of work on our parts to get it habitable before our daughter Nicole and her family arrived to spend Christmas with us. We did not move in until the 19th of December.

Nicole and family stayed almost a week, and shortly afterward Jim came down with the flu, and shared it with me. We had been extremely careful ever since I began treatment, and I had done everything possible to avoid being around people to catch something, since my auto-immune system has never been great, even in the best of times, and chemotherapy really wrecks it. Up to this point, we had both avoided getting sick with anything, but this flu was a severe one, and it really threw both of us for a loop. It took us a month to shake it, and then I was left with a cough. However, that is not unusual for me. If I get something in my chest, traditionally, since I was a child, I would keep the cough for about six weeks.

As soon as we felt we could travel we drove to southern California to visit my mother, who'd had a stroke shortly before we left Alaska. Although she was not left with any physical disabilities, her health deteriorated afterward, and we were so grateful we were able to spend that time with her. After a couple of weeks she seemed to be well on the road to recovery, so we rushed back here to take care of some immediate things that we'd left undone, so that we could visit and care for her.

We planned to go back in a couple of months, but she began having problems again right after we left, and she subsequently died March 10, so we went back to southern California just a couple of weeks after leaving there, and spent another week or so down there.

Although it was a very sad time for us all, we knew that she had hated having to live as she was, and seemed to be unable to overcome her infirmities, no matter how hard she tried. A fiercely independent woman, she hated to have to rely on family for her every need, but hated more the thought of having to be in the hospital. So, our sadness was tempered by the knowledge that she was ready to go, and had fought it off as long as she could. Her suffering is now over.

The day after her death I had my first doctor appointment in Oregon, with the Oncologist I had seen when I first was diagnosed with cancer, Dr. Boone. Jim and I were concerned because my six weeks with the cough had come and gone, and I was still coughing, so we weren't sure what we'd find out. However, Dr. Boone examined me thoroughly, took blood and urine tests, and an x-ray, and reported no signs of pneumonia or bronchitis, and reported that my tumor was gone!

Before I left Alaska, Dr. Carroll had x-rayed me, and the x-ray showed a much reduced image that was not very dense. He told us that it was still early, and it was unclear whether it was scar tissue or active cells in the area. The radiation works for up to six months after finishing treatment.

Dr. Boone's x-ray showed only a "ghost" of an image where the tumor had been, with no density to it (that's the best I can do to describe it). This was wonderful news, and I am just sorry that my mother was not here to give the news to her. She was concerned about my condition.

I cannot thank all of you who have been holding us up in prayer all this time. Prayer is an awesome thing, as is our God, and I thank Him many times every day for this news.

My hair did fall out, and is growing in now, it is approaching two inches in length now. My fingernails, which were deformed by the chemo, are all splitting and falling off now that they have grown out a ways. My skin rashes are gone, and most other side effects, although there are some residual problems.

My cough is supposed to be caused by the radiation, which shrinks the bronchial tubes, making it more difficult to cough up phlegm, and making it more difficult to breathe clearly. Dr. Boone prescribed an inhaler that expands the bronchial tubes, and it has been a big help. I have also had a problem with keeping enough potassium, so he increased my dosage of that, and that has been a help to my energy level.

The tiredness is still something that I continue to fight. Cancer makes you tired, radiation makes you tired, chemo makes you tired... and all of these compounded are the biggest thing cancer patients fight. It is a tired feeling that is not helped by rest or sleep. You get up feeling as tired as before, or worse.

The only cure for it that I know is to push your way through it by doing more each day. Not so much that you overdo, and cannot do anything the next day, but enough so that your strength is built up a bit more each and every day.

Dr. Boone has prescribed a new cancer treatment called Iressa for me. This is new on the market since last spring, and is an authorized treatment right now just for lung cancer; and for only some lung cancer patients. He gave me a test to see if it would help me, and says that it will. I have already forgotten most of the detail of what he told me, but remember that he said that the Iressa interrupts the ability of cancer cells to feed, so they cannot grow.

Lung cancer is so difficult to fight because it comes back, or it jumps (metastasizes) to another part of the body. So, if there are active cancer cells where my tumor has been, the Iressa will kill them because they cannot feed to grow. If it tries to metastasize to another part of my body, it will also kill it. Although it does not help 100% of patients who use it, the rate is so high that it is now being tested for use with many other cancers.

At one point, after the death of my friend Denice in Happy Camp, from cancer, it struck me that I would have to live every day wondering if cancer was spreading somewhere in my body. Denice had been diagnosed with lung cancer about a year before I was. She was a fighter, and she beat it. Then, about a year ago it popped up in her bones, and that is a very hard fight, but she was winning it. However, last winter she began having seizures... it was a brain tumor, and within days she died.

For some reason that thought had not struck me like it did when this happened to Denice, and it devastated me. I thought... "How can I live this way?" And began feeling very sorry for myself. Jim came into the room and when I told him about it, he began talking, as he is so good to do, and made me see that today is all that any of us have, and we need to live it to the fullest, because we do not ever know if, or how many, other days or parts of days that we might have. For those of you who wonder, and I know from questions I receive, that many of you do, that is how you survive.

Cancer is a disease that requires you to have a fighting spirit. You cannot beat it any other way, no matter what type of medical treatment is done. So, you must constantly retain the will to fight the cancer, and know you can win, with God's help. I don't know how anyone can fight it without that.

The doctors are not telling me that I am cancer-free, and I am glad. Because, if they were, I would not believe that they could know. Only God knows, and it is our faith in Him that keeps us going, keeps us sane, and keeps us thankful for every day.

Until the next update, thank you to all of you who are keeping us in your prayers. Prayer is awesome, and it works.

April 11, 2004, Easter Sunday
central Oregon

Marcie Foley

Back to Journal Index (List)