May 24, 2006

Hello to All, 

I come to write this morning feeling very humble, and very renewed of spirit.  I find it difficult to fully express just how full of love for my great and powerful Almighty God, who, in His time and His way, should trouble himself to help a poor, ignorant and unworthy little inconspicuous sinner such as I.  Much of the thanks for this feeling goes out to all of you, who with your prayers, have surely helped to bring this about. 

Tuesday we had another round of appointments in Medford, beginning even earlier than normal.  In our last round you may recall that Dr. Ahmann dropped the X-Ray, the results of the previous one being so good that he decided to wait for the next one this time.  So we went to one office at one end of town for lab work, then on to have an X-ray done, then on to see the doctor, and finally, to the infusing room for my chemo treatment. 

From the time we saw the doctor we were floating somewhere above the floor, the news was so wonderful.  Dr. Ahmann came bustling in saying that I was still the “poster girl” for Alimta (my chemotherapy), and after a few questions he told us that my tumor was now only 50% of its original size!  I can’t tell you how this one piece of news lifted us up.  The fear seems always to be there that the news could have turned bad again.  And, especially because we have been taking some more positive steps toward the Lord, we have come to expect with each of them some intervention, usually in the form of additional or renewed health problems, to attempt to dissuade us from this action. 

Only our Lord has the power to counteract this, we certainly do not have it, nor do we have the purity of spirit to bring about these results on our own.  It is only by His grace that this could have come about. 

According to the doctor, the other three patients he has been able to prescribe this medication for, showed much less promising results than I have, and none of them continued the regimen as far as I have gone.  Because it does have such strong side effects, it is only given as long as it is making enough positive difference to make it worthwhile to put the body through them, and no other patient had taken more than six treatments.  I believe I just had my eighth one, if I’m not mistaken (and that is certainly possible). 

We decided to follow the doctor’s suggestion to continue the regimen, one treatment at a time, as long as it continues to show positive results.  The fluid on my lung is still reducing, with only a small amount being left now, and the shortness of breath I am now experiencing is mostly due to the poor condition of my body. 

Jim and I suspected this might be the case, and we have been “pushing my envelope” lately, taking my limits just beyond what they were, each day, to expand them, and to increased my endurance.  One day Jim had me climbing the steps to and from the deck a number of times, and on others he helped me walk up and down the sloping yard to visit the beautiful blooming flowers up close.  Last Saturday we went to look at two places for sale, requiring the unexpected climb up a flight of ten steps and down again, and the walking around inside and out to view the property.  Another day last week we took a drive into an area I had never seen, although it is close to town, where there is a beautiful redwood forest just two or three miles from us, with some of them quite large, looking something like the redwood forests on the coast, although they cannot rival the largest of those in size, because the growing conditions are not quite as good here for them. 

We also continue to marvel at the beauty surrounding our little house here, and are spending more and more time outside, until the last few days when we’ve been blessed with enough rain, just when things were beginning to dry out perhaps too much from the month or so of bright sunshine.  All the new growth has been cleansed of dust and pollen that have been falling around us, and here as well as all the surrounding areas are washed clean again, bringing a bright new look to all in our view.  There is still snow melting in the high places, so the river is up again and running a little muddier, as the snow melt and rain have evidently brought down more slides in the creeks and smaller rivers feeding the Klamath River. 

We have had more company, and have some right now.  Our good friends Lee and Anita have arrived for the summer in the area, and are spending some time here with us while they look over the area, and Anita and I are working on some projects together while the guys are out looking over the mining prospects that look best with the high water and changes brought about by the flooding of this last winter.  Having company is very welcome, as it not only gives me a chance to be around friends, it also provides the motivation to keep myself moving more and that will help improve my stamina more quickly than it would come back without it. 

I now have two half-barrels planted on our deck, hopefully out of temptation for the many deer that frequent our yard, in which I have tomato plants growing along with a number of herbs and a small box of lettuce and mint.  They’ve been added to join a number of pots of annual flowers that brighten up the deck. 

We have decided that one of the reasons we enjoy sitting outside here so much is because we are sitting in the middle of the forest, in a very private place that is still close to everything, and which feels almost like we are sitting around a campfire out camping, but can come right inside to all the modern conveniences of home.   

We’ve found that we can view a greater number of birds just by varying the locations where we sit outside, for across our driveway the mountain drops away between fifty and a hundred feet as it falls away toward the river just about a block away, and there are different birds that fly in the higher canopy of trees at our eye level and above.  We’ve discovered we have some western tanagers, beautiful birds full of brilliant color.  They are a bit smaller than a robin in size, but larger than the small birds, and have a bright red head, brilliant yellow chest and belly, and black wings with white stripes.  They do not eat from feeders or the ground, but stay high up in the largest of our trees; the coast redwoods, old-growth cedar, sequoia, pines, etc., and if we were not looking off into the higher realms of those that are rooted far below us, we would not be able see them.  Occasionally they land in one of the smaller trees at the edge of our drive, seemingly to give us a look over, and that gives us the opportunity to examine them closely, too. 

We also now have some black headed grosbeaks coming to the feeders that are beautiful.  They are almost robin-sized, have black heads, backs and wings with white stripes, and a neck, chest and belly that starts out almost rust colored at the neck, and then lightens as it descends, to end in bright yellow.  The female is a bit duller, but they make a magnificent pair.  We have brightly colored juncos and towhees, and varied thrushes, and a myriad of warblers and thrushes in various colors of yellow with touches of black and white on wings, and some of which provide continuous song in the tall branches surrounding us.

We are now in the midst of rhododendron bloom, and have some spectacular plants surrounding our lawn and climbing the trail up the mountainside to the house above on the meadow that’s out of sight.  The bushes are 5-7 feet tall and with those on the other side of the lawn range in color from light pink, light coral to deep coral, then down to fuchsia and purple in various shades.  

Along the hillsides and the banks along the highway, now that cultivated lilacs are finished with their bloom, the wild lilacs (ceonothus) are blooming with wild abandon in various shades from white through pinks and blues and various shades of lilac.  They seem only to grow on banks, and in some places are thick.  This rain seems to have brought out the bloom, and when the sun warms it up again the air will be sweet with their scent.  I always look forward to them each year, there are so many, and they perfume the air all along this heavily forested canyon country. 

Our one peony bush has finished its bloom, with a spectacular blossom that topped out at more than 12 inches in diameter!  This is the largest blossom of any kind I’ve ever seen.

 I have been able to resume more of the housekeeping chores again, although some of the more strenuous ones Jim still insists on doing for me, along with those that trigger allergy attacks, since the pollen and bloom outside is at its peak right now and giving my allergies quite a workout.  Although I’ve lived in close to half a dozen places around here, this is the first in which I sat in the midst of so many large growth trees very near the house, but the beauty makes it all worth it. 

I now can do all or part of the cooking, and keeping the kitchen clean, make the beds, do the laundry, etc., all without oxygen if I pace myself, and I use it very little except at night, or right after strenuous activity.  This has freed him up to work on his mining equipment, as he had one small engine that had not been unpacked from the wooden box it sat in the last couple of years in Alaska out in the minus 40-50 degree temperatures all winter.  He was surprised and very pleased last week when he not only got it running, it is running better than in previous years, and all from a small Briggs engine he has had since the mid-seventies!  He can use that to do some high work until they can get into the water to dredge, and the date for that is still in the air.   

Jim is going to take some time off this summer to enjoy himself more.  He has had a very difficult time with this illness too, and there has never been a more wonderful caregiver than he has been, but he needs to take some time off to counteract the excessive stress we were under the first part of this year, it is taking its toll on both of us.  It has brought us closer together, and has strengthened our faith, but the stress is hard on my body, feeding the cancer, and it is hard on Jim’s body and mind also.  We are both needing to get in some “fun” time and relaxing time to counter it and make it go away. 

We feel right now that we have been so wonderfully blessed by God.  “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me; thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.”  Psalm 138:7 

I believe that while this terrible disease is something that I would not wish upon anyone, we have been blessed in the midst of it with coming closer to the Lord than we might have otherwise, and have grown closer in our love for one another through what we have gone through.  God has also blessed us with seeing many things we might never have seen, and from our valleys of despair He lifts us up to great heights of joy such as we might never see if the deep valleys were not there. 

We want to thank all of you who have been so faithful, so loving and kind to us, and who have helped us immeasurably in keeping our spirits up when they grew flagging, and have held us up to the Lord continuously.  It has meant a great deal to us.   

Marcie and Jim

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